SMV - Aftermath - Maeruko - Discordant Melody

The faint strains of a violin drifted out of Maeve's apartment. Normally, the instrument would sound light and carefree under her touch, but now... It almost sounded harsh, like it wasn't tuned properly. Or like the instrument itself was broken. The melody was confused, and occasionally would cut out altogether as Maeve hit a wrong note.

In a way, it reflected her current mental state. 

She hadn't left her room for days, now. Refusing to speak to anyone, she would either yell at them to go away, or not even bother to open the door. Except... When Siobhán and Elation dropped by one time, they were greeted with a wave of dark green fire and furiously screamed curses. They left her alone after that... 

When the door opened, it wasn't Elation or Siobhan who walked inside.  It had been over a week since the last time Teruko had spoken to Maeve.  There hadn't even been a call between the two.  No text messages via communicator.  Silence. 

Three of those days Teruko had been recovering.  An entire day of that had been devoted to sleeping - lost to unconsciousness.  The next two saw more waking hours, but just barely. 

She stood with her back to the door, her hands folded in front of her.  The weight of the world rested in the air between them as she looked at her friend. Maeve spun, startled by the sudden light pouring into her surprisingly dark room-- all of the curtains were shut. If she had looked bad a week ago, she was much worse now. Bruise-like circles darkened the bags under her eyes, her skin almost sickly pale. Her normal punky clothes were gone, replaced by an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Her room was a mess, the floor littered with pages and pages of sheet music. And the occasional empty bottle of alcohol.

She just stared at Teruko as she slowly lowered her violin, her face a mixture of confusion and sheer hurt. Teruko walked slowly over to a window, sliding them apart just enough to let in light to see by.  She began picking up the empty bottles, setting them together near the door to be taken to be recycled.  She didn't speak, simply straightened up the room a little bit at a time.

Maeve watched her for a bit, utterly unsure of what to do. Dammit, she'd forgotten to lock her door again. But who the hell did Teruko think she was, just strolling into her room like that without a word?!

It was nice to see her again, though. Even if Maeve wouldn't allow herself to admit it out loud. She felt her emotions start to rise up again, threatening to spiral out of control once more.

"Stop." She finally managed to croak, her voice hoarse. She tried to look at Teruko, but found her gaze going to the floor instead. Her hands began to shake.

"I would rather not," Teruko responded softly, finishing setting the papers on Maeve's desk.  They weren't all ruined, so some must be usable.  The crumpled ones she gathered and put into a paper bag so it could also be recycled. Maeve set her violin on the couch, stuffing her hands into her pockets so Teruko couldn't see them shaking. This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. 

"Don' yeh know it's rude t' jus' walk inta someone's room wi'out knockin'?" That came out a lot colder than she meant it to. But she couldn't bring herself to apologize. She felt her anger rising again, tried desperately to force it down. No matter how hurt she was... She just couldn't bring herself to strike out. Or maybe she just didn't have the energy for it anymore.

"You know very well you wouldn't have let me in if I had knocked," Teruko pointed out. "If you're angry at me you can yell.  You can cry and even hit me if you want." Maeve turned away, her shoulders hunching. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't. 

"Wot d'yeh want, Teruko." She murmured, gritting her teeth. Stay calm. Yeh have t’ stay calm! Teruko dusted off her hands and looked around the room, a tiny indentation between her eyebrows.

"Do I need to have a set-in-stone motive other than to check on you? And help save the planet by recycling?" Any other time, that would have gotten at least a faint laugh out of Maeve. Now, though...

"Wouldn'a be surprised if yeh did." She glanced over her shoulder, "I'm alive, yeh've got proof. Now yeh can go." Teruko eyed Maeve.

"Do you really want me to leave?"

"I--" No matter how much she wanted to tell Teruko to just leave her alone, the words refused to come out. Because even if her rational mind was screaming for some time to herself, pointing out time and time again that she would just get hurt even more...

Her heart wanted Teruko to stay.

"No." She whispered as she sank onto the couch, bracing her forearms on her knees. Damn this "unable to lie" thing!!! Teruko stayed where she stood, looking at the floor.

"I'm not going to ask a stupid question like 'are you okay' or 'have you been taking care of yourself'," Teruko sighed.  She played with her hair, braided and allowed to fall over her shoulder. "I realize I may be doing more harm than good by coming here. But I wanted to apologize to you for... everything." Maeve glanced up, her face unreadable, before she looked away again.

"So... Yeh meant it, then... Wot yeh said afore..." Before yeh passed out, an' I threw a knife at Lex's head. She seemed to curl up even more, her hands shaking once again. Teruko ran her hands over her arms, apparently unsure what to do with herself.

"I don't know how to answer that. I... don't remember a lot... about a week ago.  I have flashes.  No one ... will tell me what happened." Teruko crossed her arms under her breasts.

"I remember Alexis and Anscom fighting and coming home, and what I told you before I passed out. But there are some holes. I feel like I was watching a movie through frosted glass.  I know, though, that what I told you - I am sorry for hurting you and I didn't intend for things to be the way they were - was true.  I can't take back what I said or did with you, and - it would be dishonest to even try.  Though I really wish I hadn't listened to S... well. I wish I had gone about things differently or focused more on just helping you. I'm sorry."

Maeve froze. When Siobhán had filled her in on everything she knew... She said she'd just heard it from Brigid-- whoever that was. And Elation had learned bits from her as well as Aine. Teruko's name had never gotten mentioned, but--

"Yeh... Yeh knew? Sib told yeh?" Panic started creeping into her voice. “Yeh knew wot was happenin’ t’me?!” Teruko frowned darkly.

"More advice I wish I hadn't listened to.  I'm sure there are things I don't fully understand, and - I feel like Illuminis is hiding things from me, that she knows. That I as 'Teruko' don't know." She looked at Maeve, her mouth set in a hard line. "I should have sat you down and talked to you once I knew everything that was happening, or most of it - but I was told you would run away." She flushed furiously.

"Dammit, actually. Everything... I... I found out exactly how bad things were the same day... now that I think about it.. that.." Teruko placed her fingertips to her burning cheeks. "Is this how I handle a crisis, now? Freak out and kiss the person I'm so scared of losing?" She threw her hands in the air.

"Send a youma army at me! I'll defeat them with fiery kisses of confusion!" 

Maeve watched her, unmoving. Slowly, she stood, shuffling past Teruko into the kitchen. She grabbed a couple of mugs and put the kettle on for tea. Eyed a beer bottle, almost longingly. 

"I did run." She finally said. "Guess Siobhán neglected yeh in th' apparent 'SOS' text." She gripped the countertop. "Doennit suck, wi' people hidin' things from yeh? Especially th' people yeh trusted wi' everythin'? Wi' yer very loife?" Her grip tightened until her knuckles shone bright white against her pale skin. She winced, feeling the tug in her arms as cuts began to reopen. But she couldn't let go, even as the pain escalated and more and more injuries began to bleed. 

"Yeh wouldn' be th' only one. T' deal wi' a crisis loike tha'." Teruko walked over.  She hesitated, then, sighing, hugged Maeve from behind.

She rested her chin on her friend's shoulder.

"I'm intruding on your personal space, I know." She was careful with her placement of her hands, with how she held the smaller girl. "If my memory serves me which I'm not sure it does, I think Siobhan blames me for all of this," she murmured. "She has a right to.  I promise, I won't lie to you anymore, and I won't hide anything from you.  Don't... don't be too hard on Siobhan. She is handling things how she knows how and is trying to protect you too."

She frowned.  Maeve was in pain. 

"Do you have... do you need a healer, Maeve?" The Irish girl's breath caught as she stiffened under Teruko's touch. She should have pushed her away, finally told her to get out. 

But she was so tired of all of this. 

She sagged back into Teruko, her head resting against her friend's as she let go of the countertop. Her jacket sleeves were slowly starting to stain red. 

"I'm so scared, Ter... Scared’a wot I’m becomin’...” She looked down at her arms, then simply shook her head. The cuts weren't deep. They never were.

"Oh, Maeve..." Teruko whispered.  Warm, gentle light slid down from Teruko's hands to heal the cuts.  They were so shallow, but so many.... "It's okay to be scared.  Do you want to talk about it?" 

Maeve's skin prickled from the light as it filtered into the self-inflicted wounds. But this time... It didn't hurt. That was merciful in itself. Maybe... Maybe she really was getting better at fighting off Morrigan's darkness? Or was it Aine's seal that was keeping it at bay, for now...?

"Now I really know how yeh feel, Ter... It's all so much..." She felt the tears beginning to form-- how did she still have any left? "I'm losin' me moind. I don' even think I'm 'me' anymore. I'm jus' some focked up mix'a Ériu an' Morrigan. I was born cursed, cos'a Da..." She bit her lip, trying to stop her voice from breaking. 

"I don' get a happy ending. I know I don'..." Teruko shifted, turning Maeve so that she could hug her properly. She petted her friend's hair.

"I know how you feel, Maeve," Teruko whispered. "Finding out that from when you were born you were never really 'you', but someone else.... I can't promise you that you will have a happy ending. All I can do is give you my word that I'll do everything in my power to help you." She hesitated.

"Maeve.. I.. don't think I do know quite everything, and I really... don't want to ask Siobhan right now. Are you.. can you tell me what you mean? We can... maybe if we tell each other everything we know or suspect we can work together to figure things out."

Maeve looked up at her, before burying her head into Teruko's shoulder and clinging to her. She explained everything she knew. About Ériu and Aine and Morrigan. About her own broken starseed that seemed to fracture more as time went on. About the crows that had plagued her by attacking on sight ever since she was a child. 

About her father's journal that she and Elation had found, and that Aine had translated. About her apparent fate as half-Unseelie, to bring misery because of her cursed blood. 

About whether or not 'Maeve O'Gorman' even existed, instead of being some shard of a personality meant to disguise the two goddesses locked away within her. 

About Aine and Elation's relationship. About the hints that Anscom had been the one to leave all those injuries on her. 

By the time she was done, she was a blubbering mess.

Teruko stood quietly listening, holding her friend and comforting her as best she could.

Inside, she seethed.

Elation was a trusted friend.  How could she have done this?  Siobhan's cutting remarks that night were suddenly keen in her mind.  When had she said that? Little pieces of the night unlocked as she thought about them.  Illuminis was having trouble hiding her memories from Teruko's rage.

Anscom.  He had gone too far.  How could he have done this?  It was one thing to stalk and torment her, but to lay a single finger on her friend.  A strange sensation was warming her chest.

She thought she heard a violin playing and looked around, then shook her head.

She muttered words of comfort, but didn't tell Maeve not to cry. This, this she needed to cry over, and work it out. She would rather she cry than more cuts appearing on her body. Maeve took a while to calm down, but finally her sobs turned into sniffles. 

"I-- I'm sorry I was so cold t'yeh earlier, Ter. I-- Whenevah I get really upset, Morrigan starts t' show up more an'-- an' I lash out. An' seein' yeh-- I-- I was still really hurt. But I've been tryin' t' keep me feelin's jus' locked away--" She sighed and took a deep breath. "Cos I don' want t' accidentally hurt yeh-- I-- I think Lex is scared'a me now-- Wouldn'a blame him..."

"I understand. I made an awful mess for us." Teruko sighed. "I don't think.. he's afraid of you. He's afriad for you though. He wants to help you, too.  But he's more likely to hide how he's feeling."

Teruko stepped away, her hands on Maeve's shoulders.

"I'm not worried you'll hurt me. And if something happens, I know it wasn't you." Had Alexis not told her? Maeve started to shake again, staring down at her hands. Should she say anything?

"It-- It innit yer fault, Ter. I-- I don' blame yeh. I'm jus' a kid, an' a roit focked up one a' tha'. Yeh don' need me rubbish on top'a everythin' else..." She took a pained breath, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“Yeh’re better off wi' him..." God, it hurt so much to say that. Teruko sagged a little, her eyes sad.  She dug in her pocket for her handkerchief and used it to blot Maeve's cheeks.

"For 'adults' the rest of us are doing a really bad job at the whole maturity thing," Teruko lamented. "I can't say that none of this is about what I need or whom I am better off with.  I.." She shook her head. "Please, Maeve... don't misunderstand.  Please... I didn't want you to think I was rejecting you.  I..."  She looked away. "I don't know what else to say." 

Maeve stared at her, stunned. But... What she'd said a week ago... It had sounded so much like a rejection to Maeve. But Teruko wasn't lying now, she could tell. So then--

"Yeh... Yeh weren'?" She breathed, her eyes wide. "So yeh..." Yeh still loike me? "Yeh... Still want me t' be around?" Teruko blinked her large blue eyes at her friend.

"Maeve... I was ... more worried you didn't want me around anymore," Teruko said softly, her voice rough. "None of this changes the fact that we're friends, do you understand me? And none of it changes the fact that I'll do anything to save you!"

"Ter..." Maeve blinked up at her. Then, for the first time in a week--

She smiled. 

"Yeh eejit, how could I not want yeh around?" She threw her arms around Teruko's neck, nearly tackling her in a hug as she held onto her tightly. "I care 'bout yeh way too much t' jus' let yeh go loike tha'!" Her grip tightened. "An'... I feel loike yeh're th' only one I can trust. I know tha' I'm safe 'round yeh-- No mattah wot happens, I'll always care 'bout yeh!" Teruko smiled, holding back tears of relief.  She hugged her friend back just as tightly.

"Good, because I don't think I could be happy knowing you hated me," she sniffled. "I.. I'm so sorry about what's been happening to you.  I'll..." a thread of ice entered her voice. "I'll be having words with them...."

That music again, litling in the very back of her mind. 

Anscom would account for his actions.

And so would Elation.

"I couldn'a hate yeh even if I tried, Ter." Maeve gently kissed Teruko's cheek. "Elation said she'd leave me alone, after I almost burned her t'a crisp. Aine's too weak t' do anythin' now, anyway." Her voice turned cold as well. "An' Anscom..." Although Teruko couldn't see it, her blue eye flickered yellow for a brief moment. "I think I need t' have words wi' him too." 

Outside the window, a crow landed on the sill, peering through the opening in the curtain. Maeve spotted it, but for once, didn't flinch. 

In fact, she smiled at it.

Teruko followed her gaze, and frowned at the bird. Suddently she disentangled herself from her friend and marched toward the window, grabbing one of the empty alcohol bottles. She threw it full-force at the bird. The crow flew up, just barely avoiding getting hit by the bottle. It cawed loudly, darting into the room and trailing shadows as it began dive-bombing Teruko. Maeve yelped in surprise, trying to find another bottle or something to throw at the bird. The first thing her hand settled on was a knife. When the bird came close to Teruko, she began trying to grab it, rather than flinching away.

The crow darted around Teruko, but finally her fingers closed around its tail. It shrilled its anger, trying to peck and scratch at her. Maeve still gripped the knife, fighting the urge to throw it. She took a deep breath, and almost slammed the blade down on the counter. Teruko yanked the bird down and pinned it against her body, ignoring the scratches and pecks while she got its wings firmly in the grasp of one hand. She stared at the bird, face expressionless.

"She's mine and I'm going to save her," she said to the crow, a sort of stillness in her voice.

Hands glowing with her power, she wrapped her fingers around the bird's neck. Maeve watched her for a moment, before moving to stand behind her. Her arms wrapped around Teruko's waist, her head almost nuzzling against the older woman's neck. 

"I think... Morrigan's othah minions need t' get th' message... Don' yeh?" She murmured, her voice equally as still. She could feel something crying out deep within her heart-- Morrigan demanding that her precious familiar be set free. 

A cruel smile crossed Maeve's lips, as she was more than happy to deny that demand. One hand moved to cover Teruko’s, glowing a dark green.

Teruko's hand moved and closed completely around the familiar's neck.  Snap.  With a flare of both their powers, she broke the neck of the crow and flooded its body with light. The crow dissipated into black fire, the embers drifting out the window and scattering into the air. Morrigan shrieked in anger, trying to force her way into Maeve's consciousness. The Irish girl simply snuggled closer against Teruko instead. 

"Thank yeh..." Her lips barely brushed against Teruko's neck as she spoke. A tiny smile pulled up the corners of the older girl's mouth. Then she seemed to shake herself. 

"Ah.. Hum, that was odd. Do .. do those crows show up a lot? I thought I saw one the other day." Maeve sighed, reluctantly letting go of Teruko and moving to shut the window. 

"Yeah... They used t' harass me a lot a' home... An' it looks loike they found me here, too..." She sighed, latching the window and turning to face Teruko. She leaned heavily against the cabinets. 

They're... They're th' reason why I cannae swim. When I was li'le, maybe four er five, I was goin' through th' woods wi' Da when a whole bunch'a them flew down an' attacked me. They chased me through th' woods, swoopin' in front'a so I couldn'a see where I was runnin'. Then, th' next thin' I know..." 

She shuddered, hugging herself.

"I'm fallin' off'a cliff inta th' River Shannon. Th' current were really strong there, an' I got swept away. Everytoime I'd manage t' get t' th' surface, th' crows'd force me undah again. Da finally managed t' grab me outta th' water, but... I was half-drowned. I'm lucky tha' I survived, but... I've been terrified'a water an' swimmin' evah since..." Teruko put her hand to her mouth.

"That's awful!" Maeve shuddered again, before looking down at her jacket sleeves. Only now does she realize just how bloody they had become. She took it off, looking down at her arms. Only bits of dried blood are left to show where the cuts had been. Even then, Teruko could now see just how they had marred her skin, like a spider web gone completely out of control. Maeve turned to the sink, running the water and scrubbing at her arms. 

"I'd always wondered... Why it were always crows tha' came aftah me. Nevah any othah birds, jus' crows. But... I guess they wanted their mistress back..."

"They can all burn then."

Startled, Teruko put a hand to her mouth yet again.  She turned red.

"I have no idea where that came from." Maeve looked over, her eyes wide. Why did that... Sound familiar? 

Wait--

Oh dear God...

"I-- it's alroit--" She smiled faintly. "I said th' same thin'." Teruko sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"I think all this stress is getting to me. I'm not sure what came over me just now." Maeve dried off her arms, before going over to Teruko and hugging her again. 

"It's alroit... Don' worry 'bout it." Teruko hugged her back, sighing.

"Wanna drink some tea and talk about dresses for the Sirens?"

"Sounds absolutely lovely." Maeve smiled, going and reboiling the water in the kettle, before plopping in some Earl Green bags and leaving them to brew. Teruko smiled and relaxed, taking a seat on the couch. She leaned back and sighed, resting her head on the back of the couch.  Draining her energy every time she saw Maeve wasn't a great idea.  But... the cuts.... She shuddered.  To be in so much anguish to feel like she needed to do that.... Maeve brought over the mugs, after pouring in a spoonful of honey in each. Her voice was still a bit rough, from the excessive amounts of yelling and crying she'd done the past week. Plus... There was just something comforting about tea with honey. She handed Teruko a mug, then sat down next to her, leaning slightly against her. 

"Are yeh okay?" Teruko nodded, taking in the warm aroma of the tea with a grateful smile.

"As much as can be expected... Apparently Illuminis stepped in and ..." she lost a bit of her smile. "I really didn't want everyone knowing about her like that. And I think she told... well, I think Alexis knows a lot more about me than he did before as well." She took a sip, reveling in the sweet flavor. "And - Evangelion is acting like... Well, I suppose like a protective father." Teruko sighed and leaned into Maeve as well. 

"And there's this nagging feeling that something is off, inside of me. But I can't pinpoint it." Maeve took a sip of her tea, sighing quietly. 

"I know wot yeh mean... It's loike havin' t' explain 'bout Aine... Not tha' many people know tha' she's stuck in me, an'... In a way, it's easiah t' keep it tha' way, but..." She shuddered, pressing a bit closer to Teruko. "But look wot's happened wi' tha'..."

She frowned, looking up at her friend. 

"Somethin' off?" Hazy images floated through her mind, a snippet of a melody. Discordant, but hummed with Teruko's voice. She frowned, trying to grasp at them, but they just wouldn't stay long enough for her to figure out. Teruko shrugged.

"I keep hearing something like... bits of a song I don't know. Seeing... shadows, everywhere." She shook her head again, dispelling the thoughts. "I'm getting paranoid, I think." 

Maeve frowned, trying to grasp at those images once more. But it felt like something was keeping her from them. Or maybe someone... 

"I dunnae... Th' shadows I can understand, cos'a Anscom. But a song...?" She managed a smile. "Or maybe yer inner composer's jus' tryin' t' get out?" Teruko smiled distantly.

"Yes, it is... rather pretty."

"Can yeh hum it fer me?" Maeve leaned forward, curious.

Teruko's eyes unfocused as she thought about the melody.  She began to hum it softly.  As she continued she began to smile in a lop-sided fashion. Maeve shuddered, the melody pulling at something in her mind. The hazy images became a bit more focused, Teruko laying in a bed, her left eye dilating unnaturally. Emerald green flames-- 

But something else in her responded. She picked up her violin and began playing along, a faint off-kilter chuckle rising from her as she also gained a lop-sided smile. 

"Ooooh this is pretty..." 

Teruko winced and put a hand on her chest. "Ugh... Heart-burn?" 

Maeve blinked, Teruko's wince breaking the music's spell on her. She slowly lowered the violin onto the coffee table, and heard a faint tinkling, like crystalline wind chimes. But, the normally pure notes were flat, clashing. She shook her head slightly, taking another sip of her tea. 

"Yeh alroit?" Teruko frowned, rubbing a spot between her breasts.

"Yes.. sorry, I just had a pain for a moment. It's gone now."

"Okay... If tha' happens again--" What? What could she possibly do here, when she had no idea what was going on? But something was urging her to act. "Erm... Jus'... Please, jus' be careful, Ter?" She set her mug of tea down, turning to face Teruko. 

"I... I'm worried... I don' want something' t' happen t'yeh." Teruko smiled and nodded.

"I'll try and be careful."

"Thanks." Maeve smiled back, impulsively leaning up and kissing Teruko's cheek. She sank back only a little, her face still close to the older girl's. A strange look crossed her face. 

She really wanted to kiss Teruko again. Just once. 

Because something told her she may never get that chance again. 

But... 

She didn't want to make this already awkward situation even more awkward...

Teruko tilted her head inquisitively, blinking at Maeve.

"Ter..." She found herself leaning in a bit closer, until her lips were just a breath away from Teruko's. But still she hesitated. Her mind and her heart warred with each other, trying to make their side heard. Teruko swallowed, holding very still. Maeve's eyes locked on Teruko's. 

They were bright blue once again. 

"Yeh're not... Th' only one who kisses those she's afraid'a losin'..." She whispered, before her lips met Teruko's. This wasn't the same shy kiss they'd shared before. This one was more passionate... More longing, in a way. More desperate.

Teruko placed both hands on Maeve's face, pulling away from the kiss, gasping softly. She blushed, looking into Maeve's eyes.

"I am not sure.. what to do with you," she quipped uncertainly. Maeve blushed as well, but couldn't help a faint smile.

"I... don' think anyone knows...” She managed a faint quip herself. All she knew was that her heart was pounding loudly in her ears. Teruko giggled, something a little off in the laughter.

"If the two of you are both so insistent you may have to battle for the right to be the first to take me."

Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth Teruko leaned back away from Maeve, looking disturbed.  Her fringe fell in front of her eyes and she shook her head, uncovering her right eye.

"I- I'm so sorry, I keep saying weird things today." Maeve sank back herself, looking away. There it was again, that discordant chiming. She shivered. 

"N-no... It's alroit... I... I shouldn'a done tha'. I'm sorry, Ter." The way Teruko had laughed... It sent chills down her spine. 

Something was definitely off with her. 

Maeve took another sip of her tea, trying to calm her racing heart. Teruko took a long drag off of her tea, looking completely embarrassed.

"I... I can't say don't be sorry because of Alexis, but.. well.. Don't... don't worry about it. I'm not going to say anything to him, and, well.  It isn't like.  It wasn't.. Nice." She was practically speaking to the cup now.

"I just think maybe we should try not to, for now." Maeve blushed, completely embarrassed herself. Noice goin' Maeve. If yeh had a Euro fer each toime yeh made an eejit'a yerself, yeh'd be fockin' swimmin' in money. 

"R-roit... I-- I'm sorry, I really didn'a think--" She sighed and shook her head. "Guess I'm still me same impulsive self aftah all..." 

Teruko reached out and ran a hand over the top of Maeve's head.

"It's okay. That's the same old impulsive Maeve I like." 

Maeve smiled faintly, her eyes closing. 

"Then... I'll do me best not t' change."