WSP BAD Example - Round 1

Name:  Sailor Canadia
Civilian Name: Alberta Wilhelmina Serenity Maple
Sex: girl
Age: 14
Realm of Influence: Maple and being really  nice
Appearance:  Alberta is really really pretty with really pretty flowing red hair the color of maple leaves with some blond highlights like when they turn kind of yellow in fall, with really big green eyes with blue rims around the irises. She's really tall and wollowy with pretty thin limbs like from sailor moon crystal. She's prettiest girl in school in Ontario but she doesn't speak french becaus she's from Vancuver
Fuku: It's red an dwhite cuz lol canada and has a big maple leaf in the middle uf her collar. Skirt has 3 layers one of htem is whit, one is red an dhte ohter is pink. The bows are white with maple leaf patterns on them and her brooch is a maple leef shaped bottle of maple siriup (she can take it off and put syrup on her pancakes lol)
Henshin Item: A bottle of maple surup lol
Henshin Phrase: cANADIA MOUNTED POLICE MAPLE POWER TRANSFORM
Henshin Description: Mpales leaves and lots of syrup spin aroiund her while she swings a hockey stick and sings the Canadian national anthem
Weapon (if any): A magic hokey stick named Gretski
Attack(s): SUPER CANADIAN ROYAL MOUNTED POLICE ICE SKATE ATTACK - her boots turn into ice skates and she rides a horse toward her enemy and kicks tham

APLE SYRYP BEAUTIFUL BEAVER SONG - She sings the Canadian national athem again and the song and some maple surpy she puors on teh ground calls befers to come and attack her enemies

Background: Alberta Maple was born in Vancouver WA but moved to Vancouver CA at 3 years old an dhas been Canadian vere since. Once day she met a beaver that could takl and it had a maple leaf bald spot on its butt and it told her she was the destined Sailor Guardian of Canada, Sailor Canadia. She loves canada and maple leavs and hockey, and she's really really nice. She's been battling the evil King of Quebec, a really secretive and mysteirous French-Caadian guy with evil powers, for a while. he wants to make QUebec an Evil Kindgom an dshe is trying to stop him because she loves all of Canada even Quebec. Sh ehad to move there so she could fight him better cuz it's kind of far from vancouver.

oh and the beavers name is Tootie


_________

Let us examine why the above is an awful example and also excessively painful for me to have written.

First and foremost and most obvious and awful is that she's a horrifying stereotype of the people of a specific country, race, ethnic group, etc. She's derogatory in her ENTIRE existance. Outside of parody, this should never, ever be done. This is parody though so I did it and I'm only a little sorry.

Secondly, the short story doesn't tell you anything about this character except that she's whiney and almost an instant Mary Sue. Super duper pretty and has teenager problems that are superficial and trite. Is her only character flaw being whiney? Perhaps loving maple a little too much? Hard to say, because I learned nothing about her in the short story.

Third, I obviously didn't spell check this entry. Glaring spelling mistakes throughout.

Fourth, the profile is a huge mess. Use of formatting such as bolding headers and attack names would be easier on the eyes. Saying she's tall and willowy like a Sailor Moon Crystal character doesn't tell me anything - SMC makes 4' characters look 8 feet tall. Her attacks and such are nonsensical, and her profile completely contradicts itself by saying she lives in two different provinces of Canada.

I'm really sorry to Abyrae for being a huge dick to her country with this submission.  I really am sorry. (not)